Wednesday, June 08, 2005

Tobias Mifflemarb's Michael Jackson Haiku



Yep, Michael Jackson.
He's the King of Pop, all right.
Popping little boys.

The Neverland Ranch
You must be this tall to ride.
Or to be ridden.

Excuse me, Michael,
You left your nose in my pants.
Do you want it back?

Plastic surgery
Exceeds all its usefullness
When your nose falls off.

Like most songwriters
Michael is happy to be
known for his dancing.

Elephant Man bones.
They never would have complained.
Used as a sex toy.

Children love Michael...
How he loves their innocence
and their young bodies.

Abusing children
Is not a laughing matter
Unlike MJ's face.

Swabbing Michael's mouth
They gathered some DNA
And ripped through his cheek.

Poor Michael Jackson.
His best years are behind him.
Much like his real nose.

If I were as rich
and I wanted to touch boys,
I'd go to Thailand.

Sure, Webster was cute,
But keeping him as a pet
Was pretty much wrong.

Which gave him more joy:
Owning the Beatles' songs
Or that weird llama?

Pedophilia:
It's a five syllable word
For "Michael Jackson."

All for the children.
He did it all for the children.
And also to them.

A Discography

"ABC" (1970)

Just how he likes 'em:
Easy as A, B, and C.
And under sixteen.

"Ben" (1972)

Solo at thirteen,
He sang a song to a rat.
And then became one.


Off The Wall (1979)

This is too easy:
Don't Stop Till You Get Enough!
Or are arrested.


Thriller (1982)

"The Girl Is Mine"

Oh, Paul McCartney,
Fighting over a lover
With a pederast!

Michael asked the boy
"Wanna Be Startin' Something?"
Then said, "Hey, start me."

It's close to midnight.
Something evil is lurking:
Loads of hush money.

"Thriller" made him big.
He did not even write it.
You did not know that.

Double entendre?
Just beat it (Beat it) (Beat it)
Like this, cancer kid.

Really, you don't say?
Billy Jean, not your lover?
You like little boys?

Such a P.Y.T.!
Here, pretty young thing, have some:
It is Jesus Juice.


BAD (1987)

The way you make me--
The way I make you feel me,
Lonely days are gone...

Nobody's business!
It ain't nobody's business
'cept my accountant's.

Liberian Girl?
Has anyone heard this song?
Some one who matters?

Man in the Mirror?
Or freakish ghost-like whack job?
Talk amongst yourselves.


Dangerous (1992)

One thing Dangerous
About his fourth recording?
Listening to it.


History (1995)

Michael's History
The album and the abuse
Make me wanna Scream.

An anti-Semite
In "They Don't Care About Us?"
Oh, that's ignorant...

He asks the question
"Have you seen my childhood."
Much like Blanket will.

Did Michael sing the
Theme From Free Willy while
Freeing his willy?


Blood On The Dance Floor (1997)

Blood on the dance floor
makes moonwalking difficult.
Please be careful, 'kay?


Invincible (2001)

What can be said here?
Other than Invincible:
Unlistenable.

Lack of promotion?
Maybe Sony had some sense.
Why waste the money?

Assorted

He calls it progress:
Going from a nice black man
to a white woman.

Were all those crotch grabs
Subconscious... calculated...
Or just plain creepy?

Does Vitiligo
Account for his light skin tone?
Or was it some bleach?

Pajamas in court?
Who could get away with that?
Who would even try?

What's with the arm band?
Keeps the arm from falling off?
He's a fragile dude.

Macauley Culkin
Denies all allegations.
Were they Home Alone?


"Chimps"

The monkey is mine.
The doggone monkey is mine.
And he likes to watch.

Always the babe hound,
He went for Tatum O'Neal.
She was twelve years old.

Of all addictions
the one we find the strangest:
plastic surgery.

The boy had cancer.
Michael liked boys with cancer.
Weakened resistance.

A little black boy
from Gary, Indiana
does not know what's real.